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Hello

HAVE FUN AND FOR MORE JOKES GO TO

2ND SET OF JOKES

OR CHECK OUT THE BONUS JOKE
HERE(LINK TO THE BONUS JOKE)

Attention!

Professor to happy: Please pay some attention towards what i am saying.
Happy: I am giving you my best but sir I have to talk to my friends also

Language skills!

Rekha: Ma'am, I want to learn any foreign language.
Teacher; Which one, French, Russian, Chinese or some other one?
Rekha; The most foreign one!

Tea Time!

Passenger to train guard:  Sir, can't the train stop for 5 minutes, I want to have some tee in the nearby cafe?
Guard: That is only possible if you take e with you.

First Thing!

Teacher to students: What did Akbar did first when he gain the crown?
One student: He wore it!

Expenses!

Raghu: Raghav, you smell like petrol today!
Raghav: Yeah, I got it rubbed it all over my clothes.
Raghu: But why?
Raghav: So that people should think that in such times of hardship, when prices of all items are rising, I still own a car and drive it.

Simple!

Suraj: How can we recognize an Apple tree?

Kamlesh: Its simple. It has apples on it.

Ages!

Teacher to Tasha: Tell me, what comes after mid age of a man?
Tasha: Old age.
Teacher: Very good! And after old age?
Tasha: Ma'am Mid age...
Teacher: What are you saying...how can this happen?
Tasha; By coloring the hair.

Commitment!

A man hired a new servent and asked him the following.
Man: I want a very committed servant.
Servant: I am very committed sir, in my last workplace, I stole my owner's cash and when he found me i committed his murder and when escaping from the police I even tried to commit suicide.

Exam Times!

The question came in the exams that prove that the earth is round.
One student wrote: Oranges are round, apples are wound, even balls are round..so I conclude from it that earth is also round.
When teacher checked the paper he wrote below the marks: Look carefully son, grade point is also round.

School Days!

A traffic policeman once caught a teacher trying to break the signal.
Traffic policeman: You teach children that we should follow rules but you yourself are breaking them....what a shame.
Teacher: By mistake sir, what do you want from me?
traffic policeman remembered his old days and replied-"Take this sheet and write 100 times that I will never break rules."

Reward!

Sanjay to Raju: What will you give me if I show you that I can eat 5kg sugar?
Raju: Bus fare till hospital1

Liquids!

Teacher: Tell me the name of any liquid which does not freezes in winters.
One student: Sir......HOT WATER.

Small Problems!

Henry to Simon: oh my god! your head officer is too small!
Simon: Friend, understand it clearly, "the smaller the problem is, thew better it is."

Photograph!

Rajesh to Photographer: Can you click my passport size photograph in which both my head and shoes should appear?
Photographer: Yes, why not.....keep your shoes on your head.

Hot and cold!

Ricky: If a man falls in boiling hot water, what will happen to him?
Dan: After screaming for 2-3 times, he'll get cold.

Change!

One friend to other: Tell me, do you have change for 500$.
Other friend: Nope, but thank you for appreciating me by asking this question!

The Secret Of Rock Climbing!

Teacher To Ramesh: Ramesh, tell me, why rock climbers tie each other with rope while climbing?

Ramesh: So that no one can escape! 

Language Skills!

Dad to his Son: Can you speak English?
Son: Yes
Dad: Speak
Son: English!

Medication!

Doctor to patient: Take these 2 pills. Have one before going to bed and if you wake up nest morning, have the other one.

Reaction!

Teacher to students: If we leave gold in open than what will be the reaction?


One Student: It will be stolen.